February 2012
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Season 5 - Buried Tease
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Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
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Explaining The Vampire Diaries
Me: I'm going to tell you a little bit about The Vampire Diaries and you can tell me if you think you would like it.
Friend: You have two minutes.
Me: ...
Friend: ...
Me: OKAY SO THESE TWO BROTHERS BOTH SLEEP WITH THIS HBIC NAMED KAT PIERCE AND ALL THESE YEARS LATER THIS CHICK LOOKS JUST LIKE HER SO STEFAN STAYS IN MYSTIC FALLS FOR HER AND HIS BROTHER DAMON FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER TOO BUT NOT BECAUSE OF HOW SHE LOOKS, THEN THERE IS CAROLINE AND ALARIC AND JENNA AND OMG JENNA I MISS YOU SO MUCH. DELENA STELENA STEROLINE STEFERINE DEFERINE....Know those terms.... IAN SOMERHALDER PLAYS DAMON AND HE IS 100% UNF MIXED WITH BADASS AND STEFAN LIKE RAWR I'M A RIPPAH. THEN THERE ARE THE OG'S AND OMG THERE IS TENSION E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.
Friend:
Me:
Friend: Yeah..... I'm good.
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